Miss Lilian

Lilian is a mighty three. If you ask her how old she is she will violently shove three little fingers in the air, lock eyes with you and give a millitant "and thats the way it is" nod of her head.




Lilian attends a small, private inclusive school for average-abled and deaf children just outside Washington D.C. There are plenty of other deaf children there, but even still, you can spot Lilian immediately in the crowd. Her clothes are hand me downs from her four foster sisters and her hair was recently chopped (quite hapazardly in my opinion) due to a stubborn case of lice. Amoungst the hip little District kiddies, Lilian is a bit...rough around the edges, shall I say?

Her tuition is split between two deaf women, and two deaf men, who live in Washington D.C. As her foster mother puts it- her "fancy pants" school would never be possible on the small government check she recieves for caring for Lilian.

As her foster mother gripes about money, Lilian is reading the big people's lips and is quick to remind her foster mother that she doesn't have any "fancy pants". Lilian's fingers thrust in the air: "No pretty pants on Lilian!" And although her foster mother doesn't know ASL, she has a good idea that Lilian had a "smart-mouth-sign" and returns Lilian's icy stare with your-about-to-get-time-out eyebrows. Its do-or-die body language in Lilian's house.

Your probably wondering how all this happened to Lilian. To be frank, the first 4 months of Lil's life would make any of us want to crawl back to God and ask for a reassignment. Within moments of her first breath, she got ditched. Her hearing loss is most likely the result of exposure. How fucked does that sound, eh? Trust me, the sign for it is even worse.

If you ask her "You deaf? You hearing?"- a common question in "mixed" company- she will give you a small, sly smile. She's not sure what this "hearing" thing is yet, but she suspects its a trick question- or one of those questions growups ask children just to see if they know the awnser. Either way- she's annoyed. I watch her eyes sink deep and her fingers sign rapidly by her side, in no particular word order. She's thinking of how to outsmart me.

I wait patiently until she responds: "What hear do, I don't know? But I know I Lilian, Big Girl!"

I'm happy to say that I know Lilian, Big Girl, too.