The Holiday Call

Erin and I call each other on holidays. Every holiday- big or small. It began when I got perturbed with her one year, pre-holiday, when I wanted to talk about some "Amazing Grace" topic and she was being an atheist downer bootie-head.

Well, I'll show her.

Fast forward to Easter. Easter isn't a big one for her. The whole "The third day he rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven..." Apostle's Creed thing just doesn't jive in her mind. Who can blame her? She's Catholic. But even still, I called her an announced in my best mad scientist impersonation,

"He's aaaaaliiiive!"

With my usual celebratory "Risen Christ" Easter attitude, I assured her that she could breathe a little easier because I had officially prayed her way into Heaven. She was most gracious and, of course, thanked me profusely.

I also find it terribly fun to try to interrupt her in the middle of a holiday family event. Particularly those that involve extended family. My fantasy is to call Erin right when she sits down at the Christmas dinner table and butt in with a loud, obnoxious cell phone ring. I would bust into the most operatic version of "Happy Birthday Baby Jesus" I could muster. And she'd have to sit through the whole thing with me on speaker phone! Delicious! The very thought makes me giddy.

One year she answered on Christmas Eve (she gets two phone calls around then- Christmas Eve and Christmas Day) and she said in a hushed voice "We're about to eat- cant chat- call you back." I said a quick "Ok, bye." in a similar whisper and set the phone down with an evil gleam of twisted satisfaction in my eye.

Sooooooo close.

The beauty of Erin and I is two fold: we often disagree and we like it that way. I'm a Jesus Freak and she's atheist. She's a vegetarian and I crave rare cow butt. I like Tupac and Madonna, Erin heads for the indie labels. She assures me that some men really are good in bed. I lament having to waste the 15 minutes it takes the men I've pulled out from under the rocks. And there is little to no chance of changing either one of our minds about most topics. Even if we act like we might in conversation with you...nooo...we're just hoping if we give you a few head nods you'll shut the fuck up.

Ok, so neither of us are really that extreme. No, really, we're very open minded. I happily cook vegetarian dishes regularly, will conceded that the Virgin Birth aint all the probable, and In still have hope for the brother's, if you know what I mean. Erin would agree that humans may never fully understand the concept of existence in all its glory- while happily listening to my rendering of Man in the Mirror, by Michael Jackson. Stoned, I'm a rockstar.

This Thanksgiving, as with all holidays, I am thankful for my Erin, in whatever extreme she can bring. In fact...I might even try the tofurkey.